He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
