At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
