If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
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Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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