like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
