She's JV to your varsity
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
