sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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