six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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