No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.