Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
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Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later