"it" just moved
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.