WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come