I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think people are normalizing furries
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize