I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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