i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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