i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
