I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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