Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
