is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
