Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
