looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
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I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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