dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
