I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize