she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
