Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
