I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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