I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
