every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
