I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
