I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
