franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Randomize
