i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
