I'm going to jail i love you
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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