Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
