Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Randomize
