Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
