That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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