I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
