she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
