Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
