he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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