escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Randomize
