If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
