I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
