one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
