The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
