i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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