Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
