member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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