He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Holy shit dude........stairs
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