even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
