I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
