Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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