I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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