Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
