Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
