remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
