before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
