i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize