Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
