Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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