Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My feet surprised me
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
