There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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