omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
