My liver just broke up with me...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
