Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
