I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
