ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
