So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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